One Hour, eh?

I typically think of fun blog topics in the car. Don't ask me why. And by the time I get to a computer to transcribe my thoughts, they are gone.

Fortunately, this one came to me at my desk, as I sit here ordering photos of my beautiful new niece. (Naturally, not doing WORK at 10:30am)

I have an issue with one hour photo. I have no patience, so on one hand, it is a blessing. But my photos are never actually ready in an hour. It's not like I get to the store and they aren't ready. (Thank God for that) The website openly and willingly tells me that I'm gonna be waiting 2 hours and 17 minutes. I personally feel that I should get a discount on my inflated Impatience Rate of 19 cents per print. After I hear that my wait time has doubled (sometimes tripled), I would assume that the line to pick up the pictures at Walgreens is around the block. Am I wrong to think that they are incredibly busy and can't get to my pathetic 7 prints in an hour? So when I show up, and the guy behind the counter is texting someone while eating lunch from Subway, and there is NO ONE else in line, I tend to get a little angry.

Thoughts?

Sign of the Times?

A natural procrastinator, I found myself with a need to battle the crowds and head to [sigh] Target to finish up some last minute details. Much to my astonishment, I found a parking spot immediately and stood in line for no more than 5 minutes. Is the recession truly impacting one of the most profitable times of the year for retailers? Only the numbers will tell the truth. One thing I know is, I did my part to boost the economy (while putting yet another dent into the already banged up wallet).

Holidays of Yesteryear

Megan told me my last blog sucked. I can't blame her. I reread my last posting and thought to myself "Damn, my last blog DID suck." Hopefully what follows will show a little more effort and thoughtfulness than the last.

I've been faced with quite a dilemma this holiday season. While people's eagerness to send Christmas cards appears to be on the rise, judging by my daily mail delivery (no doubt in part to the ease with which Snapfish provides to print photocards), their enthusiasm to buy presents is dwindling. Multiple family members of mine, all of whom shall remain nameless to protect their identities, have suggested a "no-gift-giving-Christmas" this year. I question the motive behind this. Is it because the malls are crowded and I (the proverbial "I") just don't know what to buy someone who has everything? Or is it because the true meaning of Christmas and gifts has been tainted by the commercialization of a once religious holiday? Or, still, is it that I don't bother getting to know someone well enough that I know their likes, wants and needs?

Crowded malls? Problem solved. Enter...the Internet. Not only is it easy and convenient, a feat accomplished while still in pajamas, but most internet sites actually carry a larger inventory than the store itself. Now, you have proof that the person you are buying for does not, in fact, have everything.

Christmas spirit is reflected in mall Santas, toy commercials and WalMart's 4th quarter profits? Ok, I'll give you this one, however it is easily remedied by teaching your children the true meaning of Christmas by taking them to church and reading them the story of the real St. Nick.

The last reason for abandoning gift giving I find pathetic. If you are so inclined (whether it be societal pressure or sheer desire) to buy a gift for someone, it would be in your best interest (and for that of your karma) to put a little effort into your purchase. Listen to hints that people drop, observe habits and hobbies that might boast meaningful gift ideas. For crying out loud, it's NOT THAT HARD.

In case you couldn't infer thus far, I LIKE the idea of gift giving. Not because I like receiving gifts, but I enjoy the hunt and thrill of finding the perfect gift for someone. But in all selfishness, I don't want to put that type of effort into someone who is going to get me yet another gift set from Bath & Body Works (the standard 'I-don't-know-what-to-get-someone-gift').

Simply put - the holidays have lost their "flare". Christmas use to begin with Thanksgiving and continue through the month of December. Every Sunday there was a new advent activity during Sunday School, and carols were sung every church service the whole month of December. Now laziness and hangovers cloud my Sunday mornings. Trimming the tree was a family event with music in the background. This year, I picked out a tree in 7 minutes, and am pretty sure it's going to die any day now. No longer do I have off from December 23rd until after the new year. Christmas movies on tv are cut and edited for content and are littered with commercials. I am no longer so excited for Christmas morning that I can't sleep the night before. For me, it's just another day off from work...where I will most likely spend 2 or 3 hours in the car, fulfilling the needs of parents and family who insist you come to THEIR house.

Before long, Christmas will become just another one of those holidays that includes a family dinner (or in my case, multiple family dinners) where one or more family members drinks a little to much, and everyone leaves 5 pounds heavier. I'm hoping that one day, when I introduce kids into my life, my outlook will change and I can once again see Christmas through a child's eyes, where the magic is as real as the gifts under the tree.

Blog wha...?

I'm such a slacker. I've neglected my blog and my loyal fans. My sincere apologies.

Much has happened since my last blog. I went to Vegas and won some money. The Phils won the World Series. I got engaged! Turkey Day. And my 10-year high school reunion. Oh, and I got a new job in the midst of the chaos. Life is good.

Misreference...

So I was listening to Wired 96.5, not because I like the R&B music (all 5 songs they play over and over (and over) again) but because I like Chio and his morning show.

This morning they had a caller say that she (and her Englishman BF) could never double date with G-N (and her Irish BF) because the English and Irish hate each other. The date would be like "World War IV", she says.

I'm sorry, did I miss WWIII, or is that reference played out?

I can smell the post season!

No longer do the stinkin' tomahawk waving Braves reign atop the NL East!

Just Breathe

There is little that we take for granted more in this world than the ability to breathe through our noses. I have somehow acquired a summer cold - congestion, tight chest, cough, fatigue - the whole shabang. I can tough it out througout the day - I have a lot of other things to distract me. But at night, it is the purple elephant in the room, the bain of my existance. Breathing through my mouth is out of the question - 2 hours into it, my throat is cracked and dry and the coughing fits start.

Which brings me to my over-the-counter heroine-like substance - Afrin Nasal Spray. I would kiss the feet of the inventor, if only I didn't despise him. You see, the nasal spray works SO well that it's almost addictive. Well no...it IS addictive. You use it more often cause it works so well, but after some time, you need to use more of it, and more frequently to get the same effect. So I struggle during these times with the idea of relief and the terror of addiction. Now, I'm not a hippy or a naturalist or anything, but I believe that the human body is very capable of healing itself in time, without the use of medication, and I try to avoid putting anything into my body that isn't nature made (unless it is some type of baby preventing pill).

So for the time being, the Afrin remains on my nightstand, and I (and the people around me) will have to deal with the stuffy-nose bitching.

Someone, PLEASE help me come to my senses. I CANNOT buy a $210 pair of dress shoes for a wedding that I will seriously only wear, at best, 4 times. That is an insane waste of money. Right???

Camping and CRABS

So, it took me a while, but I finally realized that I left the crab part out of my last blog. So here it is:

Sunday was wrapped up nicely with some crabs, beer and Phillies at Mike's dad's. Who could ask for more?!?!?

Camping and crabs

After battling through many obstacles, Mike and I were able to venture out into the woods for some R&R. Every time we settled on a place to camp, we would find out they were booked - apparently we were not the only one's with this idea. In the end, we found a place outside of Lancaster, that was pet friendly, and had availability.

Bailey in the tent

Friday consisted of lots of shopping (all of my camping gear is tucked away nicely in my parents garage/attic/basement). Food, tent, lantern, sleeping bag, etc. Followed by some bickering - Mike was antsy to get on the road asap because 'no one wants to set a tent up in the dark'. I took my sweet old time before we got on the road and then showed Mr. Pessimist how you put up a tent in 6 minutes flat. In the dark. HA.






Saturday was absolutely beautiful - we did some hiking, some swimming some reading, and then later, some fire building and marshmallow roasting. I LOVE S'MORES!! (I even managed to sneak in a run in the afternoon - not a long one though, since running in the mountains is f-en HARD!)

My kick-ass fire

Sunday was time to leave, but not before I whooped some a$$ in mini golf. :-)

All in all it was an awesome weekend - and now we have camping equipment and can go whenever we want!

Run, Forrest, Run!

I've been completing long runs at a sweet 9:30 minute mile pace. I need to learn how to stabilize my pace though, because my fastest mile was a 7:30, so you do the math to figure out my slow mile.

To my credit though, I have a bunch of hills in my run which always slow me down.

Oh, the great outdoors

Ed. Note:

Cabin camping turned into tent camping rather quickly due to our last minute decision to make reservations. Tent camping with a dog. A 90lb dog.

Chores can wait...right?

I'm torn between being the mature adult and tending to my responsiblities, and skipping town for the weekend with my man piece (and a pup).

Mike proposed heading to the Poconos this weekend for a 'camping' excursion. I say camping in quotes because we are going to end up getting a cabin, since we are dog-sitting Mike's brother's 11 year old lab, Bailey, and can't store her in a tent that will overheat if we want to go do a dog-fee activity.

I said yes to the weekend, sitting here thinking "But what about the garden that needs to be weeded, or the ivy that needs to be tamed, or the hallway that needs to be painted" etc etc etc. So much to do, so little time. But with summer dwindling down, I'm persuaded to put off all of the home projects - after all, that is what winter is for, right?

Are they serious????

Now, I've heard of firming lotions, even padded underwear for a booty boost. But firming BRAS??? What's next???

Again....I have the coolest boyfriend ever

So, I knew I was getting this (after we had a conversation about it), but I had to act like it was a surprise.



A running watch with GPS that talks to satellites. So now I can be SUPER anal about my run - the distance I go, the pace I'm at. Awesome.

Zzzzz....

Ah, sleep. To some, a luxury. To others, a necessity. To me, well, sleep use to be like a little slice of heaven. Little was better than a July morning in 1996, waking to the sound of my parents leaving for work, only to fall back asleep til noon, knowing my sole duties for the day included emptying the dishwasher before going to the pool. Sleep was peaceful then, silent and stress-less.

Sleep has changed for me these last few years, months and weeks. Sleep is now filled with dread of the coming work day, fear of the future's challenges. Sleep is now interupted hourly by my busy mind, aching to quiet life's stressors before the 6 o'clock hour. Dreams are frequent and twisted, with so many mixed messages that my interpretation book is useless. Sleep these days is so fitful that Mike's occasional snoring is actually soothing.

I look forward to the days when sleep is once again restful and comforting. My concern is that those days are a long way off or, possibly, not even there.

I'm...BATMAN

If you haven't yet, go see the Dark Knight.

And if you think Heath Ledger is only garnering Oscar buzz for his performance because he died this year, you are wrong. He is phenomenal as the psychopathic Joker, and deserves every Oscar whisper.

Outer Banks Part III

The Wright Brothers Memorial

Went there for my dad, mostly - take some pictures, buy some souveniers (after all, he did cat sit for us)

Scary to think that modern flight, as we know it, originated from this one, lone track.

Outer Banks - Part II

Jockey's Ridge, Nags Head NC - the largest natural sand dune on the eastern seaboard

Mike and I spent about two hours climbing the peaks and hiking through the sound-side dunes.

Outer Banks Part I - My Pseudo Nephews

My sincere apologies to my loyal readers for my lack of posts recently. We were away on vacation in the Outer Banks for a week and since then have been swamped playing 'catch up'.

Now...onto the post!

I work with kids - all...damn...day. I work with the worst kids, too. Ill-tempered, ill-mannered, rude, disrespectful children. Kids with only one parent (sometimes a 'guardian') who will do anything, ANYTHING, for some attention. I have been threatened, I have been hit, I've even had a chair thrown at me (on several occasions). I have often think, at the end of a long, hard day, that I have failed and I'm not making a difference in their lives, however, they sure are making a difference in mine. I have to use every ounce of willpower I have to not smack the child that slammed a door in my face. I cringe at random childrens' shrieks in the mall. I contemplate asking for a new table at a restaurant when the child in the booth behind me won't stop pulling my hair. I have even questioned whether or not I will one day be cut out for parenting.

As if my job wasn't making me question my prospects of parenting enough, I was about to be faced with 8 days and 7 nights, 24 hours a day with a 2 year old and a 4 year old. Terrifying, no? But these two little boys have now been dubbed "The Cutest Little Boys on This Side of the Brandywine". They, within just hours, restored my faith in the concept of good parenting. (Don't get offended, Meg...I think you are a wonderful parent. But the true test will be when Baby B learns to TALK)

Michael and Ryan

Vacationing with them was awesome, and I miss my morning greeting from Ryan: "Good morning, Tistie. How was your sleep?"

Black Hole

You should be able to see my brains through a hole this big!

Needless to say, the eye dr tortured my already light sensitive eyes with more lights only to tell me that there is a 'slight discoloration' of my retina, but that it was nothing to worry about. The retina has a color?!?

Lonely Nights

I sit here listening to some malt shop classics - alone, because Mike is in NY for work - and I remember how I take my life for granted sometimes, (and I've had a couple of beers which always makes me a little sappy), specifically Mike. He puts up with all of my idiosyncrasies and my moodiness, which is more often than I would like, and who rarely ever seems to have a bad day. So nights like tonight, when I spent a good deal of girl time bitching about not having a ring yet, I feel terrible about myself. I have a beautiful house, that is essentially provided for me by Mike, who rarely says no to my wants, and provides for me, a lowly girlfriend, more than most husbands I know. So why is it that I am so focused on a ring and a wedding? Mysteries that may never be unraveled. One thing that is not a mystery though is that I love him to death and dread the nights he's gone (despite his snoring).

Stinkhorn update...

...since I know you are all waiting with baited breath.

The update is simple and sad. They are not gone. They have moved on to our backyard. One yesterday, two more today. And I can see several more 'eggs' waiting to hatch.

Sigh.

First Birthday!

Many many birthday wishes to my favorite one year old today!!!

The Case of the Missing Sock

Actually, I'm not talking about socks.

But I'm finding these past few weeks, that the missing sock phenomenon applies to more than hosiery. Specifically, tupperware. Just as socks find new homes at some point during the wash-dry-put away-wear cycle, these plastic containers sprout legs at some point during their wash-dry-put away-eat out of cycle and they run away, thereby leading to my fear of buying expensive tupperware. I'll admit, I'm harsh on my tupperware. I nuke it to its melting point. I fail to wash it completely between uses. I often leave some type of marinara soaked pasta sitting in it for months in the back of my fridge, staining it for life. But is that really a valid reason to skip town on me? I can confidently say that I bring 85% of my tupperware home from work. (hey...nobody's perfect) Mike CLAIMS he brings home EVERYTHING. So why is my tupperware collection at less than half capacity?

The mystery remains unsolved, and the case remains open for investigation.

Live and Learn

My hair...was way too long. It took forever to dry, and even longer to style. Which usually led to me pulling it back in a clip or a hair tie. Hence, my need for a haircut.

Obviously, I can't cut my own hair. So I have to pay someone a ridiculous amount to cut it. When I was little, and my mom was paying, it was whomever was available at the Hair Cuttery. In college, it was usually this chick at Cat's Eye salon on Main St. Once I moved to Wilmington, it has been a variety of places - Fabrizio, Ulta, Michael Christophers, Ulta again. I left Fabrizios and Michael Christophers because my stylist kept increasing her prices, but my hair never looked any better, and that practice is baffling to me. I keep leaving Ulta because I want to get my hair done in a nice salon, not the back of some cosmetic store.

My search brought me to Roma Designs. A little rinky dink place on 202 that has no website and I haven't found anyone I know that goes there. You think that would have tipped me off. My thoughts were, it's been around a while so it has to be decent, but it can't possibly charge as much as Salon 926 up the street (a known, elegant salon that charges $45 just to cut hair).

Indications I'm in the wrong place
- I walk in and people just stare. Finally I said to the closest woman, "I have a one o'clock appointment?" "Oh" is her response. Then grumpily finds my stylist, who never introduces herself.
- The linoleum tile and mauve and teal decor.
- The hair washing chair that has to be manually tilted back.
- The stylists are all busy doing each other's hair.
- I'm 'out-aged' by at least 20 years by everyone in the place
- The stylists names are Betty, Dot and Rhonda
- My stylist is late 50s, crazy red hair and dresses like she's in her late 20s (I got Rhonda)

All of this, and you expect to pay $25 for a cut. Nope. FIFTY FREAKING DOLLARS!!!! I could have gone to Toppers in Rittenhouse Square and gotten a head massage and a glass of wine too for that!!!

Needless to say, I'm never going back there. At least the cut was ok....

True Love

Shout out to the BF.

With summer camp approaching and job prospects fading into the distance, my current goal of finding new employment is feeling very out of reach. So, I needed to find a new goal - which is to run the Philly distance run in September. Preliminary training began Sunday, with a nice 5 mile run around the Brandywine 'River'. Went very well except for the monster-sized and painful blisters that formed on the bottom of both feet.

Two days later, I come home to find a pretty little heart gift bag sitting on our bed. In it are three pair of retardedly expensive anti-blister socks! Now let's hope they work...

Stinkhorn Elimination - Phase 3

Stinkhorns tend to grow in old woodchips. It just so happens, we have many a garden on our property that are covered in a thin layer of decaying old woodchips. Will wonders never cease...

Today we are having three cubic yards of new (non-woodchip) mulch delivered to the house. Do you know how much three cubic yards of mulch is? It makes a pile about 6 feet tall that covers half of our driveway - and our driveway fits two cars length-wise. Thats a lot of freakin' mulch. So the next several days will be filled with shoveling out old mulch, disposing of that, spreading new mulch and planting shrubs and flowers. I'm anticipating a lot of alcohol consumption during this process.

Stinkhorn Elimination - Take Two

I used what was left in our Round Up spray bottle against the vicious fungi in my garden. The result? More fungi appearing this morning. By the way - these MF-ers can grow to their full potential (6-8") in just SIX HOURS.

Must regroup and form a new plan of attack. Suggestions welcome.

With much anticipation...

...pictures of our porch furniture from Milford (and a kitty if you look carefully). New cushions are on their way!

And what I spent most of last weekend spray painting. I wish I had a 'before' pic of this set...it was pretty much this awful white-washed rattan, but it was free. Much improved, I must say. (Ignore the tacky green table cloth...it's protecting the glass underneath from the inches of pollen that build up overnight)

For Becky...

...who I doubt even reads my blog. Just wanted to share the similarities in our furry feline friends.

London, King of the House

Mutinus Elegans

No, this is not an X-rated post. Just a true tale of garden infestation.

Mutinus Elegans, or Elegant Stinkhorns, are a family of mushrooms which produce a foul-scented, phallus-shaped mushroom. Their method of reproduction is different than most mushrooms, which use the air to spread their spores. Stinkhorns instead produce a sticky spore mass on their tip which has an odor of carrion, dung, or other things that attract flies. The flies land on the stinkhorn and in doing so collect the spore mass on their legs and carry it to other locations.

I woke up one morning and found these....THINGS....in my front garden. Two, to be precise. Odd looking things. My first thought was that they were alien penises (naturally). After some research, I found the definition above. The next morning, I found 8 more. The morning after that, 12. They multiply like bunnies!

They freak me out. I'm having nightmares about the infestation. And Mike's apathetic attitude towards them is a little more than frustrating. So one day a week or so ago, I take to the garden with my shovel and several lawn and leaf bags. Death to the 20+ stinkhorns and the 50 of their eggs that I collected!

We were stinkhorn free for almost a full week. But sadly, they are back. And so my battle wages on...

Is Food Worth Its Weight in Gold?

Memorial Day weekend. A time of eating, drinking and relaxing.

I'm not one to go to a BBQ empty handed. I just can't do it. And while Mike has been known to be the 'beer guy', I do not want to get the reputation of being the only people to bring (and consume) booze at other people's homes.

So as I'm in the shower, prepping for said BBQ, I realize "Oh! We have nothing to bring!". What's quick, easy and delicious? 7 Layer Dip! So I rush off to So-So Fresh to purchase the goods (post-shower, obviously). 20 minutes later, I return home with no time to make the dip AND get ready, and $35 poorer. THIRTY FIVE DOLLARS for freaking dip?!?!?!? Mike and I can eat our weight in mexican at La Tolteca on $2.99 Margharita night for less than that!

Moral of this story is - stick to bringing the beer.

Karma

What has happened to Brett Myers??

This'll teach him not to beat his wife...

Furniture is EXPENSIVE!

Gearing up for our housewarming party (6 months after we move in...)

In order to make our house more presentable, Mike and I have been out buying more furniture. Because the $700,000 we spent in the last 6 months in furnishings isn't cutting it, apparently.

First we head to Ikea. Mike has been itching to get the office in working order, so the best place for organizational shelves, etc would be the Swedish superland of furniture. After a couple hours of hemming and hawing, we leave several hundred dollars poorer, get home at 9pm, and still have energy left over to put all of the pieces together. So now we have a wall of nice, new, pretty dark wood shelving and Mike's monstrosity of a desk.

Last night we headed down to Milford, DE (yes, near the beach) to pick up porch furniture from some crazy lady I found on craigslist. After some research into porch furniture, I found that there was no way I could afford to buy new. A brand new set of what I wanted (and let's face it, I will not settle) would have run us over a grand. My crazy lady furniture was significantly cheaper. The drive was long, but worth it. Now we have a ridiculous amount of sh-t on our porch. Final count is: 2 glass dinner tables and four chairs for each, wine rack, wicker set (including 2 chairs, a rocker, loveseat and table) and 2 chaise lounges. Oh, and a wheel barrow. I must be nuts.

Pictures coming soon!

Technologically Deficient

Who knew...?!?

I use to think I was current with most technological advances. I have a Palm and I have a cell phone where I can text at the speed of light. I'm already on my second upgrade of a digital camera. I know, in depth, the difference between DLP, Plasma and LCD televisions. I cannot live without my DVR.

But what I found out today was disturbing. You can now get an iPod nano with 4 times the memory that my 18 month old (read: ancient) nano has, and it plays videos. For the same price I (ok...Mike) paid!!!!!

Who can afford to keep up?!?

A.I. Recap

Because I'm 'behind the 8 ball' on blogging, I'm including some past contestants.

First off, WHAT IS PAULA ABDUL ON? Seriously. The only reason she's on the show is because she and Simon are doin' it.

The ladies...

Carly - It's ashame she's gone. She could sing. The tats were a bit much to take, but when it
comes down to it, I'd download a song or two of hers.

Syesha - snore. She can sing and she's pretty and all, but I find her boring.

Brooke - I love Brooke, and I'm not afraid to say it. I find her voice unique and her songs sincere. But no, she's not who I would pick to win.

The gents...

Michael Johns - such ashame he's gone. So nice to look at...

David Cook - he's my American Idol. And finally, America agrees. Hopefully, there will be no 'oops we voted off Chris Daughtry' syndrome again. What's funny is that earlier in the competition, I didn't even know who this guy was.

David Archuwhatever - this kid (yes KID) belongs on a Disney stage. Albeit - the Disney stage reserved for the best singers, but a Disney stage nonetheless.

Jason Castro - Jack Johnson he is not. I need to be drinking a pina colada with an umbrella in it on a white sandy beach somewhere if he's going to be singing.

Profile picture explained

Mike and I had an awesome experience last summer to go 'behind the scenes' at Citizens Bank Park. So here I am, posing as Chase Utley - the one that got away (sigh).

Anyway, I've enjoyed the April the Phils have given their loyal fans (the wins, for the most part). And am very excited to see what Pat the Bat Burrell can show this season.

Shameful Submission (Part II)

Mike and I are now members of Sundance Vacations.

We were deviously (ok...very enticing and politely, actually) lured to the Sundance office in KoP. In exchange for us listening to their hour schpeal about their membership program, we were offered a 'free' 6 day/5 night cruise to Bermuda on Royal Caribbean. We figured even an hour of wasted time was worth a chance at getting a cruise.

Long story short. We left with (1) - a free cruise to Bermuda, no airfare needed as cruises leave from NJ, but we do have to pay for taxes and port charges. Oh, and for booze. And (2) a membership to Sundance Vacations.

Contrary to popular belief, the sales people were as polite as can be expected for people working on commission. I never once felt pressured. Every time we said no, they countered with a lower offer. After rejecting their first offer of 30 weeks of vacation for TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS, we agreed to a Pay As You Go plan - $200-400 per week to some really sweet places. I pity the suckers who paid $12K.

The cruise (barring an unforeseen blackout dates) will be set for Sept '08 (Happy Birthday to ME!). And if anyone is planning a vacation in the near future let me know! We can sell our weeks to friend and family!

Shameful Submission (Part I)

Sigh.

I have caved to peer pressure (and secret desire). I am now a blogger.

It is only fair that those I stalk via blogspot.com, et al, are able to reciprocate. So here it is, for better or worse.